Monday, July 14, 2008

Travel Advice for the Caffeine Addict

My wife is addicted to caffeine, a fact to which she will readily admit. In the morning, she has two large latte mugs of coffee, and at various prescribed times throughout the day, she'll have a Diet Coke. If she misses a dose, she gets...cranky, also a fact to which she will readily admit. One year during college, she declared that she would give up caffeine for Lent. By the end of the first week, people were anonymously leaving cases of Diet Coke outside the door to her dorm room. Things I cannot make up.

When we were traveling in and around London, we had several dicey moments because we were in a place where she couldn't get a hit. I'm ashamed to say that we were saved several times by Starbucks. That's when I hit upon a brilliant idea. If you're a caffeine addict, just kick your habit before you travel. (Ha ha! I couldn't even type that with a straight face.) No, seriously, the answer is chocolate-covered coffee beans. Much more portable than a double cappuccino. Just drop them in your purse, backpack, or other touristy carrying accessory, and when you feel the headache about to set in, pop a few in your mouth.

And if you think my wife's dependency is bad, we have a friend who hit upon the diabolical idea of brewing coffee with caffeinated water. I seriously don't think she's slept since.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Cows

It must be a Canadian thing. Don’t get me wrong. The ice cream is very good. They take the Ben & Jerry’s approach. You know, “Our product is absolutely loaded with fat and sugar. That’s what makes it so good!” And they’re right. Try the Moo York Cheesecake or the Peanut Butter Cup Cup.

What makes Cows different is the merchandising. They sell shirts, caps, mugs and Christmas ornaments with themes such at “Pirates of the Cowibean” and “Dairy Potter.” People are fanatical about these things. It’s very scary. Hey, everyone, there’s ice cream! Priorities!

At any rate, they have locations all over Prince Edward Island, so if the cow-related puns don’t put you over the edge, then by all means pay them a visit.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Kimo's

Lahaina, Maui, Hawaii, United States

Or, how to cause steam to erupt from a waiter’s ears. We were on Maui over the Holidays with my wife’s family, and we wanted to treat everyone, but we didn’t want any drama when the check came, so my wife pulled the trick where you say you’re going to the bathroom, but you really slip the waiter your credit card. Well, she learned that trick from her father, who did the same thing, and then when the check came, my wife’s grandmother was also shoving a credit card in the waiter’s face. I’m not sure who wound up paying. Poor waiter. We didn’t mean to make him hyperventilate.

The one thing that Kimo’s does really well is, of course, fish. The way their menu works is different. You pick fresh fish, like ahi or ono or mahi mahi, and then you pick how it’s prepared, like grilling it or baking it. From time to time, the fish and the preparations change. It’s always good, though. They also have what’s called a hula pie, which is macadamia nut ice cream in a chocolate crust with chocolate syrup, macadamia nuts, and whipped cream on top. Believe me, too many of those will sink your outrigger.

The location couldn’t be any better, either. Located on Lahaina’s main drag, the dining area also overlooks the harbor and offers up some spectacular sunsets.

One thing to watch for is the ambiguous gender demarcation on the restrooms. The last time that we were there, the women’s restroom was indicated only by a picture of an orchid while the men’s restroom was indicated by a hibiscus. We’ll just leave it at that.

Here’s the address: 845 Front Street, Lahaina, Maui, HI 96761; Telephone: (808) 661-4811

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Admiral Codrington

London, England, United Kingdom

The Admiral Codrington is a pub, but we didn't really get pub grub when we ate there. (Trust me, when its 80 degrees outside, the last thing you want is shepherd's pie.) As it turns out, the Admiral Codrington is also a restaurant, or a gastropub, if you will.

We didn't have any reservations, so the hostess (or whatever they're called in England) said we could eat if we were done by eight o'clock. As it was barely six-thirty, we said okay. We were expecting to be rushed through our dinner, as we probably would have been at an American restaurant. We should have had more faith. It turns out that we had some of the nicest wait staff I have ever encountered. They told us to take our time and enjoy our meal. Imagine that.

It was a very good meal, too. I had the red snapper with minestrone, and my wife had the fish cake with peas. For dessert, I had the blood orange sorbet, also excellent. I think my wife won though. She had what they call honeycomb ice cream which was vanilla ice cream with ribbons of frozen honey. Watch the drool on the keyboard.

The Admiral Codrington is located in the Brompton area of London, within walking distance of the South Kensington tube station. The address is 17 Mossop Street, London, SW32LY; Telephone: 020 7581 0005. It was recommended to us by the concierge at the highly recommended Pelham Hotel.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Lambert's Cafe

Sikeston, Missouri, United States

When we were in college in Nashville, my wife, who was not yet my wife, and some friends of ours drove three hours to Sikeston, Missouri to eat dinner here. Why, you say? Well, you see, my wife had never had fried okra before, so obviously, we had to cross four states so that she could taste it.

Also, they throw the rolls. Really. Lambert's is known as the home of the "throwed roll." There’s a guy with a big cart of steaming hot dinner rolls who walks around the dining room. If you want one, you raise your hand to get his attention, and he pick up a roll with his tongs, and he flings it at you. I am not kidding. You’d best be ready.

As you might have picked up from the fried okra, the cuisine is Southern in all its glory. Those with low grease tolerance need not apply. I had the chicken fried steak, which is a piece of steak, breaded and fried. Yes indeed, that’s good stuff.

The address is: 2305 E. Malone, Sikeston, MO 63801; Telephone: (573) 471-7563.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Office

Cabo San Lucas, Baja California Sur, Mexico

You know you’re in trouble when one drink costs more than your entrĂ©e. During happy hour. The Office is a place where such things happen. The restaurant itself is on the beach. On. As it you can walk down the beach from your hotel and literally stumble over a table. Chances are, you will stumble over that same table in your attempt to walk back to your hotel.

The first time we ate there, I think I had carnitas. I think that they were good. I know that the margarita was good. Being a place where all of the out-of-towners go to party, it can be wild and loud. The meal I remember the most, there, though, was late one night when the whole restaurant was practically deserted. The party was farther down the beach. My wife and I sat alone at a table on the beach. We split some chicken enchiladas and a margarita, listened to the surf, squished the sand between out toes, and watched a lunar eclipse.

One more thing, since Cabo is a big sport fishing destination, the chefs in the kitchen will cook your catch to order if you want them to.

The Office is located on Medano Beach a mile or so from downtown Cabo San Lucas.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Brown Bar

Austin, Texas, Unites States

Three words: white grape martini. That’s all you really need to know.

Okay, fine, here’s more: The Brown Bar is located in the Brown Building, a former office building that has been converted into lofts on the corner of 8th and Colorado in downtown Austin. Our friends used to live there.

The interior is, yes brown. How’d you guess? Hey, they’re just like UPS! Except, of course, they serve alcohol and they won’t get your package there by 10:00 a.m. the next day. And they’ve won all sorts of awards for their array of martinis. So really, they’re not at all like UPS. The image is pretty upscale. The bar attracts a lot of young professionals and political-types, Austin being the capitol of Texas and all, but, at least when we were hanging out there, there, the vibe was sophisticated without being snotty.

And yes, they have a brown martini, made with Godiva chocolate liqueur.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Paul

London, England, United Kingdom

Ah, the perils of ordering coffee when traveling in a foreign country! (Even if they do speak English.) What if you order the wrong thing? What if you screw up your order so badly that they laugh at you? What if you freeze up when the person behind the counter asks you what you want? What if you take so long that the person behind you stabs you in the back with a butter knife? Hey, it could happen.

Actually we loved going to Paul when we were in London. The South Kensington location of this French bakery was across the street from our hotel. Once you get down that “Americano” means “watered-down espresso” and that it's the closest thing to regular coffee, and that “white” means “with milk,” you’re golden, and you won’t look like the obnoxious girl in line behind up one day who ordered a grande skinny decaf latte. Let me tell you how well that went over. Although, I have to admit that I didn’t know the proper term for the pastry my wife kept ordering. She said her grandmother calls it an “elephant ear.” I didn’t find out that the correct term was “palmier” until our last day. I had just been calling it “one of those.”

For some reason, although Paul is a French bakery, I expected English people to be working there. Nope. They were actually French. And it didn’t take long to notice that more than half of the people in line were also French. I know this because they spoke French to the French people behind the counter who spoke French back. It wasn’t until about the fourth day of our trip that we noticed that our hotel was next to the French embassy. Keen powers of observation, I tell you.

In any event very much enjoyed our lazy mornings sitting on the sidewalk sipping our coffee and reading the London Times, pretending to be true Londoners, or Parisians as the case may have been. Paul is a chain, and they have locations throughout London.

By the way, I highly recommend our hotel, The Pelham. They have one of the most comfortable beds I’ve ever slept in. They give you bottled water every day. The have complementary copies of the London Times. And heated towel racks (!).

Las Casuelas

Palm Springs, California, United States

We're odd. We like to travel to Palm Springs in July. That time of year, the average temperature is about 115. When it’s that hot, you don't even need a towel at the pool. When you get out, you're dry by the time both feet hit the concrete. I once had the binding of the book I was reading melt. We're obviously lizards or something.

Back in the day, my wife's former next-door neighbor was a restaurant critic for the paper in the O.C. His favorite restaurant was Las Casuelas (warning: Web site plays music), right smack in the middle of downtown Palm Springs. So, we always make it a point to go there for dinner. It's a family-run affair. The atmosphere is laid-back. Out on the patio, they have live music on the weekends, and even a little place to dance, though to me that seems like the quickest way to a heatstroke. Your best bet is to sit tight and stuff yourself with one of the combination platters. It's a lot of food. I usually get two chicken enchiladas. And of course, the margaritas are excellent.

It might help if I also provided the street address: 222 South Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, CA 92262; Telephone: (760) 325-2794.

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

Wailea, Maui, Hawaii, United States

It's also the name of a fish, the official state fish of Hawaii, as a matter of fact. It's not on the menu. But other fish are. Humuhumu, as the name is mercifully shortened, is one of the restaurants at the Grand Wailea resort on Maui's southwest coast.

It's hard to go wrong at a fish restaurant in Hawaii, and yes, the food is good here. Their gimmick, besides the name, is that the lobsters they serve live in the lagoon around the restaurant. That always creeped me out a little. It's like that episode of the old Battlestar Galactica where they find the planet, and the aliens there keep the humans well fed and distracted with casino-style gambling up until the moment they're eaten. I imagine the lobsters in much the same situation. Although, I think that the roulette wheel would get soggy.

What makes the restaurant is the atmosphere. The entire restaurant is situated on a deck in the middle of aforementioned saltwater lagoon. Some parts are covered. Others are more alfresco. Some tables are even on their own little island. They even have a troupe of Hawaiian musicians to serenade you. A meal there, if a little pricey, makes for a good evening. Just don't do what my mother-in-law did and mistake a pat of butter for a pearl onion. I shouldn't have laughed, but it was funny.

A note about the Grand Wailea if your're planning to travel to Maui. My wife and I think it's a little over-the-top, but it does have a lot of family activities. There are more low-key hotels in Wailea and in Kihei, a few miles north, and in Makena, a few miles south.